Harvest Moon: Double Shock
by Chicken Yuki
Summary: In ForgetMeNot Valley, the Farmer and Lumina are paired up, Mayor Thomas is denied help as the dog attacks him, and Rock attempts to become the story's villain with his newly developed powers. Is there actually something to all the madness?


_**Rock: **Ha ha! Bow down, folks, cuz' Rock's taking over! That's right! Me, Rock! And don't you dare call me "Roku!" For one thing, I can't even bend fire! I don't even know how the heck fire can be bent in the first place! Do you use wind or something? Ah, whatever. Anyway, as my first act as this fanfiction's badass villain, I have taken over this disclaimer to demand all of you readers to praise my hotness! That's right! All of you! I've already tried so many stupid roles in your other fics, I've finally found out the "bad guy" is where it's at! And you know what'll be different this time? It'll be the overlord Rock who will triumph in end! But what you should really know is that Chicken Yuki doesn't own the rights to Harvest Moon! And I bet any one of you writers don't either! It belongs to Natsume! But soon that company will belong to me, and they'll HAVE to make HM games staring yours truly! HAHAHA!!!_

_**Chicken Yuki: **Rock? What the fruit are you doing with my disclaimer?_

_**Rock: **Oh cheeses… it's the author. Darn it, Black-Winged Boy with the red spear, Make ME the villain of this fic! I'm TIRED of being a goofy protagonist and/or supporting character! It's obvious my natural super-hotness doesn't impress the chicks anymore!_

_**Chicken Yuki: **::unleashes the Flames of Judgment upon Rock:: Go back into this silly rendition of the Harvest Moon. ::death glare:: NOW!!!_

_**Rock::**sulks while recovering from burns::… yes, boss…_

* * *

Some time ago, in the land of Forget-Me-Not Valley, an aspiring farmer named Link was magically teleported to a farm where he was supposed to start helping the Harvest Goddess by doing lots and lots of work. Unfortunately, Mayor Thomas of Mineral Town came by to harass said farmer. The situation got ugly rather quickly… 

"Hahahaha!!! Is that your best?! There's no way I'll be dealt the same blow as I was in Mineral Town with that angry farm chick! You already missed with your Watering Can, Hammer, AND Axe! What makes you think a Scythe will do you any better?" The Mayor mocked.

Farmer Link was mad. He was about to unleash his ultimate attack which he learned from playing far too many Video Games until he noticed his dog sneak up behind the Mayor. Noticing this chance, the young farmer retreated back a few steps.

Mayor Thomas witnessed his assailant's actions with amusement. "Ho ho! What's this? Are you retreating now, boy? Ha! That's right! Who's your daddy now, son? AGH!"

Mayor Thomas ran around in a panic as Link's Floppy-eared dog, Ein, mercilessly clamped onto the political figure's rear.

"AH!!! GAH!!! CURSED DOG!!! GET IT OFF OF ME!! I-I'M SORRY!!!! HELP ME, LINK!!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!" Mayor Thomas cried.

For a moment, Link folded his arms and pondered his next course of actions. After a little while, he straightened up his posture and pointed a finger right at the Mayor's round nose.

"I will not forgive evil!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

Immediately upon making this declaration, Farmer Link stepped into his new home and slammed it shut, leaving the Mayor to suffer in excruciating pain.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

The End

…Of the Beginning…

**Harvest Moon: Double Shock**

_(That's What the "DS" Stands for in this Case)_

Several weeks passed. The self-proclaimed "Farmer of Justice" worked hard to bring splendor to his lackluster farm. In this much time, he managed to have two Bird sheds constructed on his land. He has since shipped many quality eggs and crops from decent soil his farmland offered him. He even considered buying a barn to finally raise some Cattle and Sheep; however, his bounty and experiences at the local dig site proved to be far more profitable when he discovered that selling the jewelry he dug up could be sold for a hefty fortune to the Valley's regular merchant, Van.

Also during this time, young Link found the girl of his dreams in local rich girl Lumina, who lived in her Grandma's Villa and was repeatedly forced to play her piano day in and day out. It is unknown to anyone, apparently even Lumina herself, if she even enjoys messing around with an instrument of ebony and ivory. The reputed young princess turned out to be a really nice and quiet girl, but she had a noticeable fetish for diamonds, despite her Grandma's vast wealth. While Link occasionally went into the dig site mines to hoard in oodles of the shiny stuff for his beloved, Lumina actually mentioned that she enjoyed Relaxation Tea even more. The lucky young man happened to have a few Relax Leaves with him due to lots and lots of gambling. Sadly, he has yet to acquire the kitchen and its valuable utensils.

The young farmer also befriended a silly, yet handsome young man by the name of Rock, the supposed son of Ruby from Inner Inn. He sometimes deals with the young man's ramblings of impressing chicks with his super hotness, but he disregards it entirely.

And as for Mayor Thomas of Mineral Town… no one has ever seen him since the incident with Link's dog. But no one really seems to care.

But now that this long, rambling summary of events has finally come to a close, we join our hero Link as he has yet another encounter with his beloved Lumina by their usual meeting place, the Goddess Pond.

"Good Morning, Link!" Lumina cried with a blushing face.

"H-Hello, Lumina." Link said quietly. "I know I could actually be making more money if I shipped these things, but I decided to give you another one. You know, since you seem to love them so much…"

Link then handed Lumina yet another sparkling diamond, and the young lady swiftly responded with a big hug.

"Oh, thank you! I still really love those!" she cheered.

"Uhhh…. T-thanks…" Link barely uttered.

After embracing the composure out of Link, a thought struck Lumina, forcing her to let him go.

"Say, uh… Link. I know there still isn't any word of Mayor Thomas, so…uh... how has your shipping been managed?" She asked suddenly. "Your helper Takaura's just sitting about at his house, or bumming about Vesta's farm, so I doubt he's doing it."

"Actually, we already had this new helper from awhile back. The guy had blonde broom hair and wore camo threads. He said his name was Guile or something, and he was simply doing it as a side job while searching for some evil "Shadaloo" organization or something. I don't really talk to him that often because he seems even crazier than Rock." He explained.

"Is that so?" Lumina said back in astonishment. "You know, I find it really odd that most shipping folk in the surrounding area happen to have broom-like hairstyles, like Zach and Bob. Do you think it's a shipper's tradition? Maybe Mayor Thomas quit because he didn't want to have that hairstyle."

"No. He disappeared because he was evil that deserved to be vanquished." Link stated solemnly.

Lumina nodded. "Oh, can't say you're wrong there. That jerk constantly came over to the Villa just to kill Grandma and me, all because he managed to fake a will which would allow him to inherit our fortune. Good Riddance!"

Link nodded along with his girlfriend with the pride that he drove off such a sinister man until the twinkle of his gift to Lumina caught his eye.

"By the way… why DO you like diamonds so much? I mean… I suppose I can understand why pink diamonds might catch your eyes, but your Grandma's filthy rich, right? Doesn't she get you diamonds too? How about you just buy the entire Monopoly and make them economically affordable to do some right in the world?" he suggested.

Lumina lowered her head with a flushed face. "Actually… for one thing, it would be hard to buy out that Diamond Conglomerate since they say no to any price offered to them. B-but… you see, the real reason I've been wanting diamonds so much is because… I've actually liked you before you started being so generous to me, and…"

The embarrassed young lady whipped out a sparkling diamond mail. "I thought this might help you out… when you go into the mines to fight monsters."

Link's eyes dialated wildly. "WHOA! This is great! These dinky suspenders wasn't much help in fending off those foul beasts, but with this equipped, not even the Ducks of Darkness will be able to scratch me!" he cried.

He then looked at his beloved curiously. "Lumina… I had no idea you made clothes, let alone protective diamond mails!"

Lumina clasped her face. "I-it's… another hobby of mine…" she confessed bashfully.

"Yeah! A hobby that should be employed to MY use!! HA HA HA!!!"

Both Link and Lumina turned around to face Rock, in all his wannabe evil splendor.

"HEY!!! DID SOMEONE JUST CALL ME A WANNABE?!" Rock shouted to the sky.

Suddenly, thunder rumbled from the seemingly empty sky.

"Remember... the Flames of Judgment shall await thee…" an ominous voice that only Rock seemed to hear rang out.

The excitable blonde quaked in fear as Link and Lumina started at him in confusion.

"Uh… Rock, what is this sudden proclamation all about?" Link demanded.

"Ignorant goodie-goodie…" Rock sneered. "You may THINK we're friends, but you see, I'm done with the charade! Rock's taking over this Valley, and he's in need of a few servants, starting with his cannon love interest."

"What?! I will not be your servant" Lumina shouted.

"Besides, you're not the Villain of this story! You're not evil enough!" Link pointed out . "You're our friend, and designated goofy sidekick!"

"Forget that!" Rock scoffed. "I'm going to be the badass bad boy! I will not be denied my sexy fangirls! It isn't fair that a nerd like Rick becomes an overnight sensation with the chicks because got to be evil and I can't! What "Justice" is there in that? Well, I'm breaking out of being the clown, and I'm going to totally own you all! Just you wait, I developed some really sweet evil powers and everything!"

"Well, he has the "villainous rant" thing down." Lumina confessed.

Link shook his head in thorough disapproval. "No I will not allow our good friend to be evil, if you're supposed to be my competition for Lumina's affection."

"Fool! You have no say in whether I'm good or evil! You want proof of my sweet, badass evil? Then I'll give it to you!" Rock proclaimed while pointing at the romantic couple.

Suddenly, Lumina felt a little faint. A mysterious force started affecting her mind.

"Now then, my hot little servant chick! GET ME A SANDWICH!" a voice boomed in her head.

Lumina looked bewildered and fumed. "Wh-wh-WHAT?! NO! I WILL NOT GET YOU A SANDWICH!" she shouted aloud.

Link looked confused, but Rock was not deterred. The aspiring villain continued trying to enforce his will upon her.

"Of course, you will, babe. You started falling under my power as soon as you heard my thoughts, so you really have no choice. Get me my sandwich now. I trust you know my preferences." The voice of Rock demanded in Lumina's head.

Soon, Lumina's eyes became listless and her arms sagged to her side as she looked up to Rock.

"Yes Master. I shall deliver you a Turkey Club on Rye as you---"

Lumina's droning voice was interrupted by a violent left hook to Rock's jaw by the Farmer of Justice.

"STOP THAT!" Link shouted.

Despite his painful jaw, Rock laughed triumphantly as he got back up.

"Now do you understand? Do not underestimate my power!" he shouted. He then turned his attention towards his new slave.

"Change of plans, my lady. Now I command you to make out with me! That should get his attention!" he commanded with a sinister smirk.

Unfortunately for him, it was to no avail as he laid eyes on a fuming Lumina who was now spotting wearing a pink diamond mail. He was soon met with a brutal slap to his left cheek, leaving both sides of his face hurt.

"YOU PIG!!!" Lumina yelled.

"Curses! How did you resist my mind control?!" Rock demanded to know.

Lumina pouted. "Don't you know? These diamond mails happen to grant their wearers the ability to resist magic and mental powers! It's a good thing I made one for myself so I could join Link in his adventures in the mines! There's no way I could bear living if I was forced to make out with you!" she explained.

Rock started punching the dirt floor out frustration, but then he still found reason to grin.

"Ha! Well, at least now you know what I'm capable of! Not only am I the perfect bad guy for this place, I'm also a worthy as your archrival since I've made your girlfriend wary of my gifts!" he decalred.

Link once more shook his head. "Even so, you are not my rival, for you see… the only one in Forget-Me-Not Valley I can acknowledge as such is that despicable Marlin…"

Lumina and Rock glared at him dubiously.

"What? But Marlin isn't interested me…" Lumina mentioned.

"Yeah! I'm your designated rival for Lumina's affections! Heck, I'll actually go after all the ladies once I have that chance!" Rock shouted.

"It does not change the fact that Marlin has earned my disdain." Link said. "That man's unpleasant demeanor brings great strife to this valley. And whenever I'm close to Celia in order to pick up a few farming tips, he glares at me…maliciously. It doesn't take much to know he harbors evil intent. It's obviously he's planning to do evil things… both to me, AND that poor, innocent woman for his sick pleasures. I have yet to have a true confrontation with him, but I must be ready when that time comes. I sense a dark power coming from him…"

Lumina simply stood frozen as Rock looked on in outrage.

"NO FRICKIN' WAY, MAN!!! I'M THE ULTIMATE BAD GUY AROUND HERE, AND I'M GOING TO PROOVE IT!" Rock declared.

"You? Evil? Don't make me laugh…" A sinister voice echoed with a chortle over the horizon.

Link, Lumina, and Rock froze in horror.

"That voice… but it couldn't be…" Link uttered uneasiliy.

"That can't be right! There's just no way… besides, I AM Evil! You hear me!" Rock shouted in the distance.

"….no…" Lumina whispered in a mousy voice.

The trio turned around reluctantly.

Standing right before them was an insidious being thought long gone since the dawn of existence. A malevolent black cape drooped down from the neck down. But most terrifying of all was its sinister face topped with… a big red top hat?

"How do you like me now, fair citizens?" Mayor Thomas smirked maliciously. "I stole this fine baby from the Witch Princess awhile ago. I gotta say, she looks really good without it."

"Mayor Thomas, spawn of evil! I thought my faithful dog vanquished you when I first moved here!" Link cried.

"You underestimate my powers of harassment, lad." Mayor Thomas grinned. "You honestly think a little DOG would rid the world of me for good?"

"… But… you said you stole that from the Witch Princess, right?" Lumina said as she pointed a shaky finger at his cape. "Why didn't you face her wrath?"

"Simple. I sent her off somewhere to have a reunion with the Harvest Goddess. Aren't I quite the gentleman?" Mayor Thomas answered arrogantly.

"Well, screw your so-called evil! That job is mine! You got that, middle-aged baldy bald?!" Rock complained.

"SILENCE!!!!"

Mayor Thomas' booming voice seemed to summon thunder, forcing a reluctant retreat from Rock.

"I suppose you three deserve to know what I've been up to these past few weeks, and how I regained my power and such…" Mayor Thomas voiced aloud.

All three nodded quickly.

"Well, you see… while you've been about farming, flirting, and playing piano, I retreated back into the mines, where my monster minions dwell. It is there that I plundered from every fool stupid enough to face its horrors without sufficient health-restoring items. Yes, gold seems to do wonders for my health… and I was certainly lucky to come across a curious mythical princess who sought a weapon from her kingdom's legends. The girl's ample wealth and spiritual energy has sustained me long enough to regain my formal splendor, and now I will not be satisfied until this world is mine!" he ranted.

"YOU FIEND!!!" Link shouted.

"Mwahaha…. You cannot stop me with my new strength! COME TO ME MY MINNIONS!!!" Mayor Thomas yelled.

Soon, an entire army of blackened beings materialized around the Goddess Pond. All of them looked poised to destroy the desperate trio.

"You have nowhere to run. Fools. Now, how will you be gauged to death? By the horns of my deadly Black Beetles? Perhaps the deadly powders of my pretty butterflies? Or maybe even the ruthless pecks of my malicious chicks?" Mayor Thomas pondered aloud.

"NO FAIR!!! I'M THE PRETTYBOY AROUND HERE! I'M THE ONE THAT DESERVES CHICKS FOR MINIONS!" Rock shouted aloud.

"He means those kind of chicks." Link said flatly as he pointed at a fluffly little bird with black plumage.

"Oh. My Bad." Rock confessed embarrassingly.

"ATTACK!" Mayor Thomas ordered.

A swarm of beetles and butterflies swooped in on the surrounded trio, but they were suddenly repelled by a swift whirlwind.

"HYAAAH!"

Link spun his trusty sickle round and round, cutting down any monster that dared get within rage.

"The Witch Princess was an old friend… she even taught me some of her precious mystical arts. Please allow me to help." Lumina demanded.

She then stood forward and created a magical circle beneath her. With Link's whirling blade and the crackling magic energy surrounding the party, the monsters struggled to act on their assult. Suddenly, Lumina's hands generated an ominous aura.

"FLARE!!!"

A surge of violet flames erupted from Lumina's hands, decimating hundreds of monsters in its wake.

The trio thought the battle was won at first, but when the smoke cleared, many more monsters remained.

"No! There's too many monsters! I only had enough energy to cast my spell once this time!" Lumina panicked.

"That's not good! I can't keep my attack up forever!" Link cried.

Rock growled. All of his chances to become the story's villain and receive hundreds of new fangirls were up in smoke because of Mayor Thomas. And at this rate, he was about to go down alongside the friends he desperately attempted to betray. There was only one option left to him.

"Oh, fine! Fine! I'm going to help you guys out! But only because Mayor Thomas ruined everything! I'm still mad that I'm not the villain you know!" Rock complained.

"W-whatever! Just do whatever it is that'll get us out of this!" Link shouted as he still kept up his whirlwind blade attack.

"Ha! You're gonna regret this, old man! I was saving this attack for the time I would finally be acknowledged as this story's villain in order to finish off Link, but since you decided to butt in, I'll have to use it to wipe out you AND your minions!" Rock bragged.

The Mayor simply laughed back in amusement. "Alright then, pretty boy. Let's see what you got!" he dared.

Rock's eager grin widened exponentially. "If you insist."

He then raised his hands high in the air. An immense amount of chi started pouring into his body. After mere seconds, his whole body was incased in a shining blue aura.

"RAGING… STORM!!!"

Rock then slammed the ground furiously with both hands. An overwhelming wave of deadly energy surged out of him, destroying all the monsters in sight. Even Mayor Thomas himself was enveloped.

"N-no! It's impossible! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! THAT ATTACK IS--- UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Mayor Thomas' last cries echoed throughout the valley as his body was incinerated by Rock's assault. Soon, no evil creature remained. Goddess Pond and the environment around it survived miraculously. Even Link and Lumina were unharmed.

With the threat of evil finally vanquished, the trio stood triumphantly as beautiful sunshine blessed them with its glorious light.

"….Amazing… there's no trace of that jerk Mayor Left!" Lumina said in astonishment.

"See, Rock? I told you were better of being on the good side." Link pointed out in approval.

"Gah, I'm not sure if I wanna stick around anymore guys. There's no way that I can ever be a Harvest Moon Antagonist now, pulling off this super generous act." Rock groaned.

He then looked off into the distance, where most people came in and out of Forget-Me-Not Valley. After thinking for a minute, the former aspiring villain arrived at a decision.

"Yeah, this it. I'm going to attend the "Mark of the Century" Dance Tournament and make a name for myself there. There's no way the chicks will resist once I show off my "Deadly Rave" party skills to the world! Catch ya later!"

And with that, Rock headed off towards the sunset to show the world that he can party hard.

Meanwhile, Lumina cuddled up in Link's arms by the pond.

"At last. The madness is over." Lumina said in relief.

"Yes. Justice has triumphed, and peace has been restored to Forget-Me-Not Valley." Link proclaimed proudly.

Link and Lumina then proceeded to press their lips together in happiness. After a long time of sweet indulgence, the pair finally severed their ties, but not before exchanging curious glances.

"You know… that evil Mayor mentioned something about a Princess trapped in one of the mines. Maybe we should help that poor girl." Link proposed.

Lumina nodded. "You have a point. It wouldn't be right to leave someone underground for the rest of their life. Besides, who knows how much air left she has down there."

The couple clad in diamond mails then released their loving embraces and took up heroic poses.

"Let's go save that princess!" Link declared before running off.

"Right behind you!" Lumina cried with a blushing face as she followed her love to the dig site.

And so, the three heroes of Forget-Me-Not-Valley resumed their lives in earnest. The loving couple Link and Lumina proceeded through the deadly mines in order to save a damsel in distress, while Rock went on to fulfill his dream of seducing many attractive ladies during his journey to become the greatest partier ever.

…However, unknown to Rock, he would soon face his greatest trial yet, for he would soon learn that another powerful figure sought to enter the "Mark of The Century" Tournament. Many recognized this great and terrible man as the infamous Crime Lord of Northtown, Canada: Goose Coward.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**_And so, there you have it. A random story that made little sense as possible, and incorporated quite a few references to other video games you Harvest-Holics probably never even played. Well, one of them is obvious, but I'm not sure about everything else. With "Between Maidens" finally on the verge of coming to a close, I just might actually go back and finish a few other stories. Well, I'm off. _


End file.
